That was fun. I was twenty in 1970 when the book came out, already in love with the man I would marry in 2 years (and to whom I am still married), I doubt very much if I read the book, and probably didn't see the movie when it first came out because my husband was film major and we tended to by-pass big Hollywood movies for obscure and/or foreign films at the time. But I am sure I've seen the movie at some point, and I would have and cried, since I am one of those people who cry at Hallmark commercials, and dying lady!! of course I cried and at the same time felt put out by the manipulation. What I doubt is if I ever resonated to the catch phrase, because just reading it now I found my wry inner voice saying, does this mean that if you love someone you don't have to apologize? or if someone loves you, they shouldn't expect an apology? and then my one piece of marital advice my parents gave me goes through my head "don't go to bed mad," which seems much more practical--and sincere. Anyway, I am looking forward to many more such thoughts. Brava for the new endeavor.
Thank you for the engaging comment, my friend! At twenty you were the key demographic they were after. I applaud you for dodging the trend. 😁 The film was so much better than the book, which is something I rarely say about any film based on a book. It was pretty obvious the author was a screenwriter first and a novelist second. All that dialogue needed to be coming out of faces with pauses and expression and all that good stuff for it to really come alive.
As for the catch phrase - my eyes roll back in my head every time I read it. 😂In a perfect world perhaps. But humans are humans. And hurt feelings are hurt feelings. The only way around it (if you care to get around it) is to admit the mistake and clear the slate. Your parents' advice was solid. I'm not sure my parents ever gave me that advice - they certainly didn't always live by it - but I do. I hate when things fester. Especially between people who really like each other. 💕
Okay, now I feel at home because Sharron is here! Hello, my love! Yes, I remember all the hoopla about the book and the movie. The two stars? Huge! Great article/essay/review, Meg. Yes, I saw the movie, but 12 year old boys didn't sit down to read books like LOVE STORY when they could read E.R. Burroughs.
Oh yeah, on a side note, best advice ever given to me was a friend who said you can save your marriage with these five words: "I'm sorry, it's my fault." And then he said, with a smile: "All you have to do is change the inflection of your voice, to match the situation."
This was the magic formulation that made the movie so much more enjoyable for me than the book. All that dialogue needed PEOPLE behind it, and nuance, and sarcasm, and sincerity, and smiles, and eyebrow crinkling ... you get the idea. Context ... package and delivery .... are EVERYTHING!!
I was probably about 14 when I saw the movie. There was no cable yet, they were just starting to hook it up in our area by that time. It was a big thing when movies were released on TV back then. They’d only show them once, and if you missed it, you never knew when you might see it again. But no, I never read the book. I knew who Ali McGraw was though, and the scandal that broke out when she met Steve McQueen.
Never read it and never saw the movie, although I'd heard about it. And to answer that other important question, false. False. False. I'm going to need an apology if you say/act shitty toward me. LOL
RIGHT??? This is where "romance" steers people wrong. Nothing like a "romantic" excuse for being a jagweed without remorse. 😂 At least most of us are smarter than Hollywood. 💕
Oooh. Thanks for the share! I just bookmarked it for my Saturday reads. 🥂
I'm more cynical about fictional romance now than I once was. But plenty of story creators still get it right by me. I'm trying to be such a creator myself. 🙂💕
Congratulations on your launch Meg 🚀 Never read the story nor seen the movie but will now definitely stop to watch if I come across 😉
Question for you: Do you think the “Love means not ever having to say you’re sorry” scene would have been less divisive back in the ’70s? Or do you think your critique of it is shaped by today’s cultural norms and perspectives?
While I did delete a short feminist rant from an earlier draft that didn't properly take our cultural history into account, I think my critique of the sentiment comes simply from knowing what I now know, from experience, is required to sustain long term happiness with a life-partner. If I had read LOVE STORY in my teens or twenties - pre-marriage, pre-kids - I would have gobbled that line up and made a full-page spread for it in my "requirements for true love" scrapbook. 😂 So, I can certainly understand its appeal.
And I do think it's a lovely thought, that two people could be so in sync (and so insanely laid back) that they could bypass the apology-forgiveness cycle anytime there was a hitch in their romantic rhythm, but ... it seems to me, the best way to remedy a "hurt" in someone you love is to simply say, "I'm sorry." Even if you weren't the real cause of the hurt, it's still okay to be sorry the hurt is there in the first place. 🙂That's just my personal hot take on the subject. I'm still waiting for someone in here to argue for the phrase being TRUE. I'm sure for some folks it is!
I don't have any master's degrees. Just a B.A. in Theater.😊 But I do believe in not going to bed angry, which is sort the antithesis to "love means never having to say you're sorry."
Never read or seen it, nor plan to because of my hang-up of crying while watching something fictional (I was once made fun of it). Shh, never mind that several KDramas have had the tears pouring out of me. Are we sure it’s Jenny who says that line, sounds exactly like something a narcissistic jerk would say.
Finally, what the heck was this book doing in an antique store?! It’s only vintage!
Though, admittedly, I also try to avoid crowds or company when watching sad things. I like to ugly cry alone when possible.
You might have to give me a KDrama title to start with. I'm totally unfamiliar with the genre and wouldn't know where to start!
Jenny DOES say it. First. Ollie says it too, at the end, to his father. Cuz of ... lesson learned and full circles and all that jazz. 😉
The antique stores around here are wild. A mash-up of garage sale junk, legit antiques, and local crafts. I have one friend I go "antiquing" with regularly. Lately, I've been buying a lot of inexpensive, pre-owned cashmere sweaters on those trips. Don't know why, since I can't afford to have them dry cleaned! 😂
Alas, can’t smack them ‘cause they’re dead now, but it is a whole family trait thing.
KDrama starting point: “Crash Landing on You”! Romance aplenty, brooding hero, fish-out-of-water heroine and an ensemble cast that not only will you adore, but the actors will keep popping up in other things. South Korean rich girl accidentally paraglides into North Korea (there was a storm).
"Crash Landing..." is on Netflix -- and a lot of them are. I've been watching KDramas for a few years now and only recently added on a paid Viki subscription (which I think is one of the few places one can watch "Guardian: Great and Lonely God" which will annoy you and then make you bawl your eyes out. YMMV of course.)
KDramas can be found on Disney+, Prime, etc, but the bulk of them are on the first two I mentioned.
Hey Leanne, he says the line to his father at the end of the movie. I don't know about the book, though. And I thought the same thing about it being an antique. Since when is my childhood referred to as an Antique Era. That's when my parents were young!
I think antique stores are struggling to peddle antiques these days because the era of family heirlooms is sadly being replaced with the era of landfill propagation. ☹️My mother has a ton of beautiful antique furniture in her house (and jewelry, and cross stiches, etc.) that have been in her family for generations. My house is filled with bargain basement pre-fab furniture because that's what kids my age could afford when we got married. As for books ... there are just too darn many being published now (says the gal who wants one of hers to get published). They all end up in consignment, or the $1 bin at Walmart in the end. Honestly, I'd love it if a book I wrote ended up in an "antique" story in 50 years. Then I'll know I've made it. 😊
Didn't that guy also write Jonathan Livingston Segal?
Anyway, “Love means not ever having to say you’re sorry.”" That's what both of my divorced wives believed. And they never did say they were sorry for anything. It was all my fault.
I've neither read the book nor seen the movie, Love Story, (though now I may need to watch the movie based on your review/inaugural "The Romantic" newsletter)...
Interestingly (or ironically?) I use a similar line in book two of the Forged series. I've got some time before it's published, so excuse me while I run back to the scene and ensure the delivery is not cringe-worthy enablism! 🏃♀️💨 I mean, I've been known to stop reading a story because of questionable passage--authors are in the unique position to model healthy responses to unhealthy relationships (yeah, yeah, you gotta show the unhealthy first, but for the love all everyone's mental wellbeing, get the protagonist OUTTA there with some respect!)
I look forward to your next installment, Meg! Maybe someday you can review my YA series... 🙏
Oh, please don't edit your novel based on my crankiness! 😂If I've learned one thing about writing romance it's that people are going to absorb it and react to it differently based on their own life experiences, wounds, histories, and hang-ups. I can't tell you how many times I've written a teenage boy love interest that I personally adore with all my heart (and even relate to on some level) and someone close to me will absolutely despise him. It's the nature of the storytelling beast. You can't win 'em all. I also think as writers, we become more sensitive as readers over time. We see the potential for crossed lines and miscommunication. We don't want to offend anyone with OUR stories so we often look for ways to soften things or distance ourselves from anything that could reflect upon us poorly. I'm not sure this is always the best or most authentic path, though. It's definitely a challenging line to walk. I do know that the authors who are brave enough to push boundaries and shine lights on some of the less pretty things people do to each other in romantic relationships usually sell all the books.😊And most of them probably use pen names, too. 💕
Oh, I share your crankiness 😉 so I hope that when my MMC/love interest says that phrase, it doesn’t creep over the line of cringe (or if it does, I’ve given him enough reason to make it authentic and from a true place of love). And yes, I hope to push the line, make a statement, so I know my writing is not everyone’s cup of tea. I’ve built up a thick skin when it comes to teaching fitness and yoga… I’m hoping it carries over to being a published writer 🤞 tell me, what story has your most favorite teenage boy love interest? I want to read it!!!
As none of my books are "published" in a traditional sense, I can only direct you to the ones I've published online. 😊 Bud Beaumont from SEE DOT SMILE is probably the best character I've had the pleasure of creating. He's not a traditional love interest ... and yet he very much is. https://www.wattpad.com/story/340543646-see-dot-smile It's got some steam ... hope that's not a deterrent. 😉🌶️If you read it, let me know!!!
Context matters: who should have been doing the apologising in that scenario, why him?
The line itself is one that I've always thought should have been a 'kill your darlings'. The author thought it was clever, even profound, when really it's a nonsense line that left everyone scratching their heads and raising quizzical eyebrows.
Yes! It’s all about the context. Does response align with the character’s motivating influences? Does it make sense within the development of the relationship? Or is it just “an easy way out” for the author to move the story along?
I’ve never read it or seen the film and honestly, I’m just not a fan of tragic endings (especially where romance is concerned) so I’ll probably steer clear.
In response to your query about love and apologies, as someone who’s been married for 13 years, apologies are NECESSARY. One of the toughest lessons in long term relationships is learning how to communicate and apologize to one another.
What irked me about this story was the setup for tragedy at the start. As I said in the piece, it's an effective hook, but it still put a bad taste in my mouth ... on page one. 😂
That was fun! I haven’t read the book or seen the movie (looking forward to your 1989 pic because chances are that’s familiar :) !) - and apologies are hot, so I agree with your take here!
It’s a perplexing question! Is it the “bad boy” trope extended into fantasy? Or the “I’m so smart/sexy/special that my daddy’s hairy friends want to date me” trope? Or is it just that werewolves look cool?
Have you watched Shrinking on AppleTV? I started and finished the two seasons this past weekend. Forgiving others and forgiving yourself are a big theme of that dramedy. Also, penis jokes. Also, parenting. Also, dead loved ones.
Obviously, I recommend it.
Anyhow, my hot take on the “love means never having to say you’re sorry” line is that: if you’re not frequently apologizing to those you love (your spouse, your kids (yes, especially your kids), then you’re faking your relationship. Yes! I said it. Unapologetically, I decree if you’re not saying sorry often then you’re playing pretend, presenting a fake, misleading your family into adoring an actor’s role, not their husband, not their father.
Apple TV is one the streaming services I DON'T have, unfortunately. If I ever make bank on this newsletter gig, I'll be able to afford all the cool channels and will be able to write them off as "business" expenses. 😁
I personally think we should all be apologizing to each other constantly just for being human. Because being human means being imperfect and being imperfect means constantly messing up. I'm with you about apologizing to our kids a lot. Kids whose parents never admit they're wrong grow up to be adults who never admit they're wrong. It's an unfortunate cycle that can have dire consequences on society. As we're seeing.
P.S. Did you subscribe here yet? Or did you wander in from Stock Fiction? Either way, it's nice to see you. 💕
Cracking start! I’ve never seen or read it but could be swayed to watch when needing a good purge cry. Nope- absolutely need the apology. I could say a lot more about this and the link to intimate partner violence but it’s too hot today and I need my energy for scrolling.
In my last footnote I linked to an article in Psychology Today about the line from the film and how it really can't apply to romantic relationships or even friendships, because the apology-forgiveness loop is necessary to maintain trust and facilitate repair in those relationships when there's been some damage. The doc who wrote it also suggested the idea of "unconditional" love can leave people who subscribe to it open to abuse, which probably aligns with your thoughts about partner violence. It's a big subject, and one I wasn't expecting to come up while reading this tiny little romance book. 💕
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry” is a (titanically) dumb sentiment, but I think the reason it FEELS true, and hits like such an emotional truck, is the context in which it’s said. It’s more about the grace of unearned forgiveness, which always lays us flat when we encounter it.
I’m also thinking about how different that line would land if it went the other direction. If the one who owes an apology claims that some Law of Love exempts him from having to offer it? That’s called emotional abuse. But coming from the one to whom the apology is owed, we can believe in it as something too beautiful and profound for words.
So glad you see it that way, Jordan! So much lovelier through that lens… My older, cynical mind has only seen it as a sentiment felt by the male author, who put it into his female protagonist’s mouth to say.
I haven't even read it yet. I already know it's fab and funny. 💞👏🙏
😊🥂
Your first review: 5/5
💕💕💕💕💕
That was fun. I was twenty in 1970 when the book came out, already in love with the man I would marry in 2 years (and to whom I am still married), I doubt very much if I read the book, and probably didn't see the movie when it first came out because my husband was film major and we tended to by-pass big Hollywood movies for obscure and/or foreign films at the time. But I am sure I've seen the movie at some point, and I would have and cried, since I am one of those people who cry at Hallmark commercials, and dying lady!! of course I cried and at the same time felt put out by the manipulation. What I doubt is if I ever resonated to the catch phrase, because just reading it now I found my wry inner voice saying, does this mean that if you love someone you don't have to apologize? or if someone loves you, they shouldn't expect an apology? and then my one piece of marital advice my parents gave me goes through my head "don't go to bed mad," which seems much more practical--and sincere. Anyway, I am looking forward to many more such thoughts. Brava for the new endeavor.
Thank you for the engaging comment, my friend! At twenty you were the key demographic they were after. I applaud you for dodging the trend. 😁 The film was so much better than the book, which is something I rarely say about any film based on a book. It was pretty obvious the author was a screenwriter first and a novelist second. All that dialogue needed to be coming out of faces with pauses and expression and all that good stuff for it to really come alive.
As for the catch phrase - my eyes roll back in my head every time I read it. 😂In a perfect world perhaps. But humans are humans. And hurt feelings are hurt feelings. The only way around it (if you care to get around it) is to admit the mistake and clear the slate. Your parents' advice was solid. I'm not sure my parents ever gave me that advice - they certainly didn't always live by it - but I do. I hate when things fester. Especially between people who really like each other. 💕
Great start, Meg! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thank you, Sharron! 💕
Okay, now I feel at home because Sharron is here! Hello, my love! Yes, I remember all the hoopla about the book and the movie. The two stars? Huge! Great article/essay/review, Meg. Yes, I saw the movie, but 12 year old boys didn't sit down to read books like LOVE STORY when they could read E.R. Burroughs.
Oh yeah, on a side note, best advice ever given to me was a friend who said you can save your marriage with these five words: "I'm sorry, it's my fault." And then he said, with a smile: "All you have to do is change the inflection of your voice, to match the situation."
Ahh... yes.
This was the magic formulation that made the movie so much more enjoyable for me than the book. All that dialogue needed PEOPLE behind it, and nuance, and sarcasm, and sincerity, and smiles, and eyebrow crinkling ... you get the idea. Context ... package and delivery .... are EVERYTHING!!
Welcome aboard, Ben!
You've given me an idea to wave Sharron B. like a beacon for anyone reluctant about joining us over here. 😁I'm certainly glad to have her.
I'm impressed a 12-year-old boy would sit through the MOVIE, let alone read the book. Or were you older when you watched the film?
I was probably about 14 when I saw the movie. There was no cable yet, they were just starting to hook it up in our area by that time. It was a big thing when movies were released on TV back then. They’d only show them once, and if you missed it, you never knew when you might see it again. But no, I never read the book. I knew who Ali McGraw was though, and the scandal that broke out when she met Steve McQueen.
Never read it and never saw the movie, although I'd heard about it. And to answer that other important question, false. False. False. I'm going to need an apology if you say/act shitty toward me. LOL
RIGHT??? This is where "romance" steers people wrong. Nothing like a "romantic" excuse for being a jagweed without remorse. 😂 At least most of us are smarter than Hollywood. 💕
"This is where "romance" steers people wrong" - So true. As much as I love reading this genre, it really does give you a rose-colored glasses view of relationships. Case in point: https://literallyororo.substack.com/p/why-reading-romance-novels-literally?r=6wg0q
Oooh. Thanks for the share! I just bookmarked it for my Saturday reads. 🥂
I'm more cynical about fictional romance now than I once was. But plenty of story creators still get it right by me. I'm trying to be such a creator myself. 🙂💕
Congratulations on your launch Meg 🚀 Never read the story nor seen the movie but will now definitely stop to watch if I come across 😉
Question for you: Do you think the “Love means not ever having to say you’re sorry” scene would have been less divisive back in the ’70s? Or do you think your critique of it is shaped by today’s cultural norms and perspectives?
Hi Mark! Thanks for the excellent Question:
While I did delete a short feminist rant from an earlier draft that didn't properly take our cultural history into account, I think my critique of the sentiment comes simply from knowing what I now know, from experience, is required to sustain long term happiness with a life-partner. If I had read LOVE STORY in my teens or twenties - pre-marriage, pre-kids - I would have gobbled that line up and made a full-page spread for it in my "requirements for true love" scrapbook. 😂 So, I can certainly understand its appeal.
And I do think it's a lovely thought, that two people could be so in sync (and so insanely laid back) that they could bypass the apology-forgiveness cycle anytime there was a hitch in their romantic rhythm, but ... it seems to me, the best way to remedy a "hurt" in someone you love is to simply say, "I'm sorry." Even if you weren't the real cause of the hurt, it's still okay to be sorry the hurt is there in the first place. 🙂That's just my personal hot take on the subject. I'm still waiting for someone in here to argue for the phrase being TRUE. I'm sure for some folks it is!
Oh I have one last question for you: What is a master’s degree in not-going-to-bed- angry studies? 🤔
That's just me being a goofball.
I don't have any master's degrees. Just a B.A. in Theater.😊 But I do believe in not going to bed angry, which is sort the antithesis to "love means never having to say you're sorry."
Haven’t read it and haven’t seen the movie. False. Sincere apologies matter as much as their sincere acceptance.
🥂🥂💕💕
Never read or seen it, nor plan to because of my hang-up of crying while watching something fictional (I was once made fun of it). Shh, never mind that several KDramas have had the tears pouring out of me. Are we sure it’s Jenny who says that line, sounds exactly like something a narcissistic jerk would say.
Finally, what the heck was this book doing in an antique store?! It’s only vintage!
Who made fun of you!? I'll smack them.
Though, admittedly, I also try to avoid crowds or company when watching sad things. I like to ugly cry alone when possible.
You might have to give me a KDrama title to start with. I'm totally unfamiliar with the genre and wouldn't know where to start!
Jenny DOES say it. First. Ollie says it too, at the end, to his father. Cuz of ... lesson learned and full circles and all that jazz. 😉
The antique stores around here are wild. A mash-up of garage sale junk, legit antiques, and local crafts. I have one friend I go "antiquing" with regularly. Lately, I've been buying a lot of inexpensive, pre-owned cashmere sweaters on those trips. Don't know why, since I can't afford to have them dry cleaned! 😂
Alas, can’t smack them ‘cause they’re dead now, but it is a whole family trait thing.
KDrama starting point: “Crash Landing on You”! Romance aplenty, brooding hero, fish-out-of-water heroine and an ensemble cast that not only will you adore, but the actors will keep popping up in other things. South Korean rich girl accidentally paraglides into North Korea (there was a storm).
Thank you! Can I ask where you stream these flicks from? I can't afford all the services, so hopefully I'll be able to find it on one that I have! 💕
"Crash Landing..." is on Netflix -- and a lot of them are. I've been watching KDramas for a few years now and only recently added on a paid Viki subscription (which I think is one of the few places one can watch "Guardian: Great and Lonely God" which will annoy you and then make you bawl your eyes out. YMMV of course.)
KDramas can be found on Disney+, Prime, etc, but the bulk of them are on the first two I mentioned.
Hey Leanne, he says the line to his father at the end of the movie. I don't know about the book, though. And I thought the same thing about it being an antique. Since when is my childhood referred to as an Antique Era. That's when my parents were young!
I mean technically antique is anything over 100 and neither you nor I are there yet.
I know, funny thing is, 2024 would've been my Mom's 100th birthday year.
I think antique stores are struggling to peddle antiques these days because the era of family heirlooms is sadly being replaced with the era of landfill propagation. ☹️My mother has a ton of beautiful antique furniture in her house (and jewelry, and cross stiches, etc.) that have been in her family for generations. My house is filled with bargain basement pre-fab furniture because that's what kids my age could afford when we got married. As for books ... there are just too darn many being published now (says the gal who wants one of hers to get published). They all end up in consignment, or the $1 bin at Walmart in the end. Honestly, I'd love it if a book I wrote ended up in an "antique" story in 50 years. Then I'll know I've made it. 😊
Didn't that guy also write Jonathan Livingston Segal?
Anyway, “Love means not ever having to say you’re sorry.”" That's what both of my divorced wives believed. And they never did say they were sorry for anything. It was all my fault.
T'was Richard Bach who wrote that one. Unless that was a Seagull/Segal joke. :-)
Wow, you got that, too! I had a teacher in grade 9 English and he read that out to us in class. Best teacher I had, in that he opened a lot of doors.
I've neither read the book nor seen the movie, Love Story, (though now I may need to watch the movie based on your review/inaugural "The Romantic" newsletter)...
Interestingly (or ironically?) I use a similar line in book two of the Forged series. I've got some time before it's published, so excuse me while I run back to the scene and ensure the delivery is not cringe-worthy enablism! 🏃♀️💨 I mean, I've been known to stop reading a story because of questionable passage--authors are in the unique position to model healthy responses to unhealthy relationships (yeah, yeah, you gotta show the unhealthy first, but for the love all everyone's mental wellbeing, get the protagonist OUTTA there with some respect!)
I look forward to your next installment, Meg! Maybe someday you can review my YA series... 🙏
Oh, please don't edit your novel based on my crankiness! 😂If I've learned one thing about writing romance it's that people are going to absorb it and react to it differently based on their own life experiences, wounds, histories, and hang-ups. I can't tell you how many times I've written a teenage boy love interest that I personally adore with all my heart (and even relate to on some level) and someone close to me will absolutely despise him. It's the nature of the storytelling beast. You can't win 'em all. I also think as writers, we become more sensitive as readers over time. We see the potential for crossed lines and miscommunication. We don't want to offend anyone with OUR stories so we often look for ways to soften things or distance ourselves from anything that could reflect upon us poorly. I'm not sure this is always the best or most authentic path, though. It's definitely a challenging line to walk. I do know that the authors who are brave enough to push boundaries and shine lights on some of the less pretty things people do to each other in romantic relationships usually sell all the books.😊And most of them probably use pen names, too. 💕
Oh, I share your crankiness 😉 so I hope that when my MMC/love interest says that phrase, it doesn’t creep over the line of cringe (or if it does, I’ve given him enough reason to make it authentic and from a true place of love). And yes, I hope to push the line, make a statement, so I know my writing is not everyone’s cup of tea. I’ve built up a thick skin when it comes to teaching fitness and yoga… I’m hoping it carries over to being a published writer 🤞 tell me, what story has your most favorite teenage boy love interest? I want to read it!!!
Do you mean a boy I read? Or a boy I wrote? 😊
Well, I take all recommendations, but specifically one that you wrote. ☺️
As none of my books are "published" in a traditional sense, I can only direct you to the ones I've published online. 😊 Bud Beaumont from SEE DOT SMILE is probably the best character I've had the pleasure of creating. He's not a traditional love interest ... and yet he very much is. https://www.wattpad.com/story/340543646-see-dot-smile It's got some steam ... hope that's not a deterrent. 😉🌶️If you read it, let me know!!!
Context matters: who should have been doing the apologising in that scenario, why him?
The line itself is one that I've always thought should have been a 'kill your darlings'. The author thought it was clever, even profound, when really it's a nonsense line that left everyone scratching their heads and raising quizzical eyebrows.
Yes! It’s all about the context. Does response align with the character’s motivating influences? Does it make sense within the development of the relationship? Or is it just “an easy way out” for the author to move the story along?
This is fantastic! Great job!
I’ve never read it or seen the film and honestly, I’m just not a fan of tragic endings (especially where romance is concerned) so I’ll probably steer clear.
In response to your query about love and apologies, as someone who’s been married for 13 years, apologies are NECESSARY. One of the toughest lessons in long term relationships is learning how to communicate and apologize to one another.
Thank you, MaKenna!
What irked me about this story was the setup for tragedy at the start. As I said in the piece, it's an effective hook, but it still put a bad taste in my mouth ... on page one. 😂
I agree: Apology and longevity go hand-in-hand. 💕
Thanks for reading!!
That was fun! I haven’t read the book or seen the movie (looking forward to your 1989 pic because chances are that’s familiar :) !) - and apologies are hot, so I agree with your take here!
Yes! I hope many of my fellow 40+ somethings will get a nostalgia hug next week. 💕
And yes-- apologies = SO hot. 🔥
How did werewolves become part of the romance genre?
I don't know. But as the creator of this newsletter, I'm making it my responsibility to find out. 😉
It’s a perplexing question! Is it the “bad boy” trope extended into fantasy? Or the “I’m so smart/sexy/special that my daddy’s hairy friends want to date me” trope? Or is it just that werewolves look cool?
I already have a title in mind for my eventual "deep dive" into these waters:
When Men Are Dogs: I read three werewolf romantasies so you never have to. 😁
Have you watched Shrinking on AppleTV? I started and finished the two seasons this past weekend. Forgiving others and forgiving yourself are a big theme of that dramedy. Also, penis jokes. Also, parenting. Also, dead loved ones.
Obviously, I recommend it.
Anyhow, my hot take on the “love means never having to say you’re sorry” line is that: if you’re not frequently apologizing to those you love (your spouse, your kids (yes, especially your kids), then you’re faking your relationship. Yes! I said it. Unapologetically, I decree if you’re not saying sorry often then you’re playing pretend, presenting a fake, misleading your family into adoring an actor’s role, not their husband, not their father.
Apple TV is one the streaming services I DON'T have, unfortunately. If I ever make bank on this newsletter gig, I'll be able to afford all the cool channels and will be able to write them off as "business" expenses. 😁
I personally think we should all be apologizing to each other constantly just for being human. Because being human means being imperfect and being imperfect means constantly messing up. I'm with you about apologizing to our kids a lot. Kids whose parents never admit they're wrong grow up to be adults who never admit they're wrong. It's an unfortunate cycle that can have dire consequences on society. As we're seeing.
P.S. Did you subscribe here yet? Or did you wander in from Stock Fiction? Either way, it's nice to see you. 💕
I hear it’s free this weekend! I just subscribed.
Cracking start! I’ve never seen or read it but could be swayed to watch when needing a good purge cry. Nope- absolutely need the apology. I could say a lot more about this and the link to intimate partner violence but it’s too hot today and I need my energy for scrolling.
Thanks for reading, Rosie!
In my last footnote I linked to an article in Psychology Today about the line from the film and how it really can't apply to romantic relationships or even friendships, because the apology-forgiveness loop is necessary to maintain trust and facilitate repair in those relationships when there's been some damage. The doc who wrote it also suggested the idea of "unconditional" love can leave people who subscribe to it open to abuse, which probably aligns with your thoughts about partner violence. It's a big subject, and one I wasn't expecting to come up while reading this tiny little romance book. 💕
What a great place to start.
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry” is a (titanically) dumb sentiment, but I think the reason it FEELS true, and hits like such an emotional truck, is the context in which it’s said. It’s more about the grace of unearned forgiveness, which always lays us flat when we encounter it.
I’m also thinking about how different that line would land if it went the other direction. If the one who owes an apology claims that some Law of Love exempts him from having to offer it? That’s called emotional abuse. But coming from the one to whom the apology is owed, we can believe in it as something too beautiful and profound for words.
Excellent points, my friend!!!!
Context is everything. 💕🥂
Too bad we're a species famous for taking things out of context when it serves an agenda.
Man, my cynical side is grating awfully hard against this Romantic persona I'm trying to cultivate. 😂 I'll work on it.
Stick around. You'll be my context coordinator.
So glad you see it that way, Jordan! So much lovelier through that lens… My older, cynical mind has only seen it as a sentiment felt by the male author, who put it into his female protagonist’s mouth to say.